Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
Wychwood
Varethane
When Tiara's pyrokinesis is finally noticed, she is captured by a magical research organization for study. If she cooperates, she could be helping to save humanity from a dire threat - but can she trust them?
Anacrine Complex
Sae Cotton
A superhuman heist involving probably too many pigeons than entirely necessary.
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Drugs & Wires
Mary Safro, Io Black
Dan used to be a VR operator until his brain got fried by malware. Now he's stuck delivering packages in a post-Soviet hellhole all while trying to adjust to his new life and find some answers.
The Witch Door
Anni K.
Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
Countdown to Countdown
Velinxi
Iris Black is a self-proclaimed inventor with the curious ability to bring his drawings to life, and yearns to find a space where he can use his powers freely.
Whomp!
Ronnie
A depressed, portly, hirsute anime fan stumbles through life in the ever-pursuit of chicken nuggets and other life-shortening indulgences.
Folklore
Adam Ma, Colin Tan Wei
A superhuman horror story focused on a small band of survivors trying to navigate a war-torn world in the aftermath of the Federation’s collapse.
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
How to be a Werewolf
Shawn Lenore
Malaya Walters was bitten by a werewolf as a child. After being raised by her human family, she faces the chance to learn what being a werewolf is really like as an adult.
Solstoria
Angelica Maria
After her brother goes missing, Samantha vows to become a Knight and help those around her in the Kingdom of St. Helena.
Obelisk
Ashley McCammon
In 1908 New York, a young woman struggles to put her life back together in the wake of her father's death - until she discovers a vampire in the shambles of her inheritance.
Goblins
Ellipsis
A fantasy RPG as told through the eyes of the low-level monsters.
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
Demon Studies
Miyuli
Four students summon and study potentially dangerous demons within the walls of the mysterious Summerland University.
No End
Erli, Kromi
A queer romance about people attempting to build lives in a cold, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by hordes of undead.
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
Go Get a Roomie
Clover
Experience the queer journey of an upbeat hippie and the friendships she makes along the way! A tale of self-discovery and love of many forms.
Patrik the Vampire
Bree Paulsen
Patrik loves to knit, bake, and help his friends while dealing with his own demons... like his thirst for blood because, oh yeah--he's a vampire.
Come Hell or High Water
Jenny/Star, Mori
Prince Gladimir was never meant to fall for a pirate. Swearing off love for duty, the threat of war propels him back into the Captain’s world of high seas and high stakes. Their relationship could be the thing to save the kingdom of Yvoire - or destroy it.
Paint the Town Red
Windy, Winter Jay Kiakas
Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
The Otherknown
Lorian Merriman
Chandra is a 12-year-old accidental time traveler with a reluctant new dad, who happens to be a member of a feared galactic crime syndicate.
Fairmeadow
Kendra P. / KP
A wayward soldier finds herself in a pacifist commune deep in the wilderness of a war-weary land. Living in isolation brings her closer to those she was sworn to kill than she could ever imagine - but also threatens to tear the place apart.
Heart of Gold
Eliot Baum, Viv Tanner
A pianist with failing eyesight seeks out a priest with a miraculous healing touch, drawing him deeper into a world of miracles and curses.
Far to the North
Allison Shaw
Kelu turns to the monsters of her remote mountain home when her family is held hostage by outsiders.
Sunshine Boy
Moosopp
New-kid Kelly is sweet but naive. Luckily, he's got his outgoing neighbor Grey in his corner.
El Goonish Shive
Dan Shive
WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Lunar Blight
Studio CARTRIDGE, Laura Lee
Lunar Blight is a gothic horror story about an elite knight serving a moon cult who must choose between upholding his honoured duty or condemning everything he’s grown to know.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
Awaken
Koti Saavedra/Flipfloppery
Superpowers, monsters and conspiracies. Piras, the spoiled Dameschi heir, fights to recover his identity after becoming a terrorist!
Killjoys
Flatw00ds
When two disgraced ex-feds fall backwards into trouble with the clown mafia, getting out in one piece is gonna be no joke!
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Spinnerette
Krazy Krow, Rocio Zucchi, Pablo Rey
When a lab accident gives Heather Brown spider powers and six arms, she does what any midwest comic geek would do: Become Ohio's #3 superhero!
Tove
Severin
The end of the world is coming, and Tove doesn't want to be a hero, but SOMEONE has to look after her little brother.
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
Hazy London
Scotty
A story about messy relationships. From friendly foes to crazy families. Nothing is black and white, just full of color. But, all colors can get a little hazy...
MASKLESS
kickingshoes
In a world where people can wield the magic of elemental Masks, all Ashe wants to do is help. Maskless and useless, with dreams of fire and smoke on the back of his tongue, he finds himself on a strange, dangerous path to uncovering the secrets of these incredible objects, and the source of the monsters plaguing his home.
The Lonely Vincent Bellingham
Diana Huh
Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Shaderunners
Alex Assan, Lin Darrow
A ragtag band of bootleggers open a speakeasy for bottled colour in the greyscale city of Ironwell.
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Clockwork
Chikuto
Cog Kleinschmidt is a diligent, quiet worker at the Mercia Fortress, the world power's leading stronghold. His orderly life is thrown into chaos when an enemy kingdom sends a diplomat for peace talks. This diplomat needs something from Cog - whether he agrees to their terms or not!
2 Slices
RJ Morel
After a case of mistaken identity, will awkward Daisuke find help from excitable Mamo, or will his love life be thrown completely off track?
BOOKMARK Click "Tag Page" to bookmark a page. When you return to the site, click "Goto Tag" to continue where you left off.
BUFFER WATCH
Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:
“If the consumers demand extra cheese, you shall provide them with all the cheese they desire. Galasso’s Pizzas (and Subs) may withhold at Galasso’s whim nearly any service it desires, but Galasso’s prides itself on being cheesier than anyone else out there.”
Of course he does! The Great Galasso is completely familiar with the concept! In fact, he will require the orange one to demonstrate her (?) proficiency in this task, that he might verify it is adequate!
Galasso doesn’t need your documents, just your willingness to join eternal servitude to his majesty and glorious empire. Exalt Galasso on high and you’ll be fine.
So it’s the late Nineties, and I’m listening to my favourite local rock station on the radio, when the DJ says, “Hey, if you’re looking for a job, [Restaurant] just fired their dishwasher and needs a new one immediately. The pay is [minimum wage]; it’s full time, and the first person to knock at the back door will get the job.”
So, yeah, not a usual thing, but these things do happen, sometimes. I got my job at a gas station because when I dropped off my resume, my piece of shit car wouldn’t start in their parking lot and I had to pop the hood and whack the starter with the hammer I kept under the seat specifically for the purpose to get it off its flat spot on the brushes and working again.
The manager literally ran across the parking lot to catch me before I left, and scheduled an interview then and there.Because, you see, I had some actual mechanical experience and was willing to go under a hood, which most people dropping off resumes there weren’t and didn’t (and which my resume hadn’t indicated, because I was just papering the complex with them as a condition of getting my EI).
Hell, our computer repair business once got a service contract with a resort because I ran into a carpenter who had agreed to do a small job for us in exchange for some computer repair work, but then refused to do it, because although we fixed their computer and it had run perfectly for several days, after they had moved it to another floor of their house it had stopped working completely and wouldn’t even turn on, which was obviously because of something we had done, and not because something had jiggled loose (or was hooked up incorrectly) when they were carrying it. Because they had been very careful, you see.
The resort manager was standing nearby, heard the conversation, and gave me her card. We were there IT department for several years until they closed.
It’s rare, but these things do happen–especially if you’re willing to jump on them.
I’m pretty sure that a food handler’s license is required only of the person(s) who actually prepares the raw food — think the chef or the person in the back room rolling out the dough and applying the toppings. I would also assume that Galasso himself probably holds a food handler’s license, and the way it works in our state (Wisconsin) as long as the person with the license is present on the premises the license will cover any and all employees in much the same way that a licensed bartender must be present but that covers all persons mixing drinks or pouring beers.
A chef might need a license, as they’re handling raw meat and such, but that’s probably why pizza places and fast food restaurants use pre-cooked frozen meat.
That way greasy, half-trained teenagers (such as I was when I worked in a pizza place) can handle things and only occasionally give people diarrhea.
Man, you should’ve worked at nicer pizza places. My old job seasoned and ground our sausage fresh daily. Mind you, that was the ONLY meat we really “prepared” ourselves, but by god it was delicious.
Amusingly, I had to have a food handlers card to work at a gas station that didn’t even have food I had to prepare, but when I was working at the restaurant stocking the salad bar and preparing stuff for it, I didn’t. It’s a strange universe.
I’m in Illinois & work as a barista at a cafe that serves food. I don’t prepare any food other than coffee/drinks but still have a food handler’s license. I worked at the cafe for at least two months before getting it, though. Every barista at our place has a license. Obviously Chef and the cooks do as well. But it’s very possible to get a food job without a food license. Some places require employees to pay for them themselves and that can be pricey.
On the same note, Galasso is definitely the last name then? Because Galasso seems a perfectly legitimate first name from parents who partook in whatever sort of upbringing produced Galasso.
I propose that Willis declare it to be canon that Galasso’s first name is — and shall forever be — “Lord”, as noted in this comic strip from back in 2012.
“Wait — “(I hear you saying) “What sort of a first name is ‘Lord’? Who would name their child that?” I refer you to Garrison Keillor’s best-seller book, “Lake Wobegon Days”, in which he described the origin of Senator K. Torvaldson’s name:
And Uncle Senator K. Torvaldson — who else has a great-uncle named Senator? How do you explain to people that he was named that because his mother liked the sound of it?
Well, since “doing their job properly” in this case would have involved menacing them until they were cowed and ate whatever pizza was placed before them.
I suspect she had the option of either serving them the correct pizza or cowing them into accepting the pizza she gave them. She did not do either, so she was fired.
Awww, Becky wants to show off all her nice paperwork. Don’t be sad, Becky. There will come a time when your status as a totally not illegal citizen will be appreciated.
I love how Dina is caught up in the madness of things. Because of course a “nice kisser” is what you need in a pizza place.
Oh? Which scene?
It’s late, so instead of filtering memorized Jayne scenes for something relevant my brain is just replaying them ALL AT ONCE and it’s hard to pick anything out
The one where they break into a hospital. He has gone to enormous pain to memorize a certain line in case they ask him somthing medical, not to blow his cover.
They DON’T ask him anything medical, but instead of keeping his head down and just get on with the heist he says the line, because frack it, he has memorized it!!!
From the way Dina’s looking off and smiling happily in panel 2, I think she started making a list what she thinks are Becky’s best qualities and may have gotten a bit sidetracked along the way
so question for Cerberus or someone equally knowledgeable: wouldn’t it be better if Galasso DID take her social security number and gave her checks? And this way she can tell the bank she has a legit job when she and Mr. Brown open an account?
Then again it might not be OVERLY important, I opened my first bank account when I was 14 and all my deposited money was cash for a long time, Becky is still a kid in the bank’s eyes, no?
I’m not sure if this is a California thing or just varies by banks, but in my experience, unless you have some kind of severe money trouble in your history, banks here seem perfectly fine with providing checking and savings accounts with Visa ATM cards to anyone 18 or older, without caring a whit about documented income/employment…as long as you’re willing to pay monthly or annual account fees. Many banks waive the fees only if you set up regular direct deposit (typically from employment), or sometimes other strange things per their whims (once had a saving account that was free only so long as I had a regularly scheduled $25 transfer to it from my checking account…despite the fact that I nearly always immediately transferred it right back into checking).
Direct deposit is certainly one way to nearly ensure employment, but the first several years of my banking life I had a totally legit, fully documented job at a financial office that, for whatever reason (probably to save money) chose to pay everyone by company check instead of direct deposit. Which led me to investigate the weird, more shenanigan-y ways of obtaining free accounts. None required (other than the direct deposit option) any hint of employment or even just where my money was coming from.
For context, most of my banking experience was either with Bank of America, or local banks/credit unions. My first account I opened myself, I was not yet employed (other than some sporadic tutoring money), and got a free picnic basket for opening my account!
My parents opened a bank account for me when I was eight, so I don’t think banks really care, as long as you’re willing to sign off on their rules/fees/etc. Her credit score or whatever might be better if she could report her job though. It should still be fine as a reference for other jobs though, since they’d probably just call Galasso (whether or not he’s good at giving a reference would remain to be seen, though).
So unless she gets audited, she’s fine, and even then, it would probably depend on how much she made.
That said, the paperwork, while irritating, is pretty useful down the road. Having an employer (who admits to the government that you’re an employee) gets you covered under unemployment if that employer is prone to impulsive firing.
…which is why Becky totally should be worried about working for Galasso. But she is too poor to have principles, and this outcome is entertaining for me, so…
(All this comes with the provision that I am not an expert, nor do I play one on the Internet. However, I did spend five years in fast food and ten more years as a cook.)
Galasso is totally in violation of the law at this point, on at least two counts:
1) Failing to check whether Becky is legally allowed to work
2) Without an SSN, he clearly cannot make legally required deductions from her paycheck, nor can he pay legally required employer taxes related to her employment
Assuming she can prove her citizenship, Becky is not doing anything illegal by working off the books for cash. However,
1) If she fails to self-report the income on her taxes, that would be tax fraud; also, if she is a self-employed contractor, she needs to report and pay taxes as such
2) she is not covered by Workers Comp or any other form of legal protection or insurance. If she throws her back out, if Sydney Yus sues her for damages, she’s screwed
3) since this job doesn’t appear on the books, she can’t list it when she goes to apply for her next job
At this point, since she needs cash more than anything else, it makes sense for her to take the “job.” But a restaurant kitchen is full of things that can send you to the emergency room — I have seen a healthy, strong 25-year-old guy lift a 50-pound box of shortening and be unable to work for six months — and she would be better off finding a real job as soon as possible. This will probably not occur to her.
As others have said, this is Galasso. He can’t be bothered with such things. Likely Pamela checks the paperwork behind the scenes – and handles all the required licensing and inspections and things for the business as well.
I don’t really see how Galasso’s Pizza! (and Subs) could have stayed open even as long as we’ve seen if it’s just completely ignoring the regulations.
I could be wrong. This could all be the setup for a plotline. I doubt it though.
“Behold! The capital Galasso’s is required to give you in exchange for your labors because the economic system has yet to bow down before Galasso’s will!”
I would not be at all surprised if Galasso does not require these documents because he has declared his pizza (and sub) shop a sovereign nation where the only identification needed is his will.
I am not completely certain, but I believe Ninja Rick is the one character WIllis has explicitly stated will not make an appearance. If someone else could provide a link backing me up, I would be immensely grateful. I would even be willing to offer some percentage of my acquired internet points from the good Emperor (assuming he has not declared them non-transferable).
Willis has confirmed she’s not, and said that she was too broke for college. I’m assuming she lives in Bloomington though. Plus she’s not really mean or bongo-y. She’s a hipster, sure, but that’s hardly the same.
My money is on Meredith for Agatha’s mean roommate.
But is it the LONGFORM birth certificate? How do we know your parents didn’t sneak in and paid a newspaper to print out fake birth stories so you could work waiting tables at a pizza parlor? I’ve paid people to dig up your history and they found yooge things, believe me, tremendous.
Bob Dole: Bob Dole loves Galazzo’s, vote for Bob Dole in 2020!
Galazzo: Galazzo approves this message, cow your unworthy hunger into submission at Galazzo’s Pizza!
Bob Dole : Bob Dole wishes to add: And Subs!
Did Galasso just tell Becky to serve herself and Dina pizza, or did he already forget that she was kinda the reason he fired Sydney? Either way this is hilarious.
THE MIGHTY GALASSO does not care about such trivialities. He needed a serf, he got one. Now it can mind it’s own pitiful serfish business while he continues being glorious.
I suddenly realised that Galasso may have hit on the next major development in food service – Self-service! Take the cost of the pizza out of the amount you legally owe them for serving their own table as if they were a temp!
Oh, Becky….. This strip reminds me so much of when I got my first job after high school. Little did I know of the extreme hatred for humanity retail & food service would engender within my soul.
This man speaks of himself in the third person? That sort of superior, supercilious attitude is out of place in a man that owns/runs/manages a pizzeria. (But he probably pays in cash so run with it, Becky!)
she should be fine as long as she doesn’t mess up orders and then become megalomaniacal about how much power she has over the customers (which is technically about none.)
“Wait, so… if I’m supposed to attend to table 12, should I serve us the pizza we actually ordered?”
“No, you shall serve ME, Galasso! Now go attend to table 12!”
“yo, Table 12 wants about a million of our finest smooches, so I’mma deploy some licky-style action”
“Inquire whether Table 12 desires peppers with their order.”
“… umm….. I don’t know whether that’s hot or not.”
“Table 12 obviously doesn’t need extra Parmesan because this is already stupidly cheesy”
“If the consumers demand extra cheese, you shall provide them with all the cheese they desire. Galasso’s Pizzas (and Subs) may withhold at Galasso’s whim nearly any service it desires, but Galasso’s prides itself on being cheesier than anyone else out there.”
Hot peppers!
Serve yourselves and get back to work, FOOLS, also I need you to clean the ladies room, a costumer has been conquered by the chili pepper supreme
Also, wasn’t there a Carnivore Special due to land on table 12?
Galasso just goes with the flow
Galassgo with the Galaflow.
Fool. Galasso does not follow the flow. He is a leader! The flow clearly follows him.
How much is it customary to tip yourself?
Depends how much of your own money you want to share out to the busing crew and kitchen.
I suspect tip shares at Galassos may be decided by combat.
Is it considered rude not to handicap oneself after a pattern of victory with too little effort, then?
All the way over, I’d say.
Please return your server to her original upright position.
In case of emergency, your pizza crust may be used as a flotation device.
Becky doesn’t have much to tip with. If Dina wanted to tip her, however…
Oh, wait. She already did. heh.
I wonder what their policy on flirting with customers is?
…
I wonder if Gallasso knows what flirting is?
He thinks he does.
Of course he does! The Great Galasso is completely familiar with the concept! In fact, he will require the orange one to demonstrate her (?) proficiency in this task, that he might verify it is adequate!
At least he’s not asking for heirs this time.
…yet.
Does it count as fraternizing with the customers if they’re dating before one gets hired?
Depends on how much influence Connie had in writing that policy.
You seem to forget that Pamela is here. So she’s writing the policy.
Galasso knows that flirting is a thing! That he’s heard of!
best reference? best reference
*the Huey Lewis number continues*
Congratulations, you’re serving yourself.
But you still have to pay for the food.
Galasso doesn’t need your documents, just your willingness to join eternal servitude to his majesty and glorious empire. Exalt Galasso on high and you’ll be fine.
Only a billion-year contract.
Make it two!
And your first-born. (Or second-born, it’s negotiable.)
That’s only for promotion.
I think you’re setting up some unrealistic expectations for young people looking for a job, though.
If someone runs into a person who acts like Galasso in the real world, I’m not sure this would be an unreasonable expectation
I try, but they still won’t let me build a trapdoor through which to drop Education students who disregard our criminal clearance procedures.
Welcome to the world of casual employment in the non franchise, single outlet, junk food industry.
So it’s the late Nineties, and I’m listening to my favourite local rock station on the radio, when the DJ says, “Hey, if you’re looking for a job, [Restaurant] just fired their dishwasher and needs a new one immediately. The pay is [minimum wage]; it’s full time, and the first person to knock at the back door will get the job.”
So, yeah, not a usual thing, but these things do happen, sometimes. I got my job at a gas station because when I dropped off my resume, my piece of shit car wouldn’t start in their parking lot and I had to pop the hood and whack the starter with the hammer I kept under the seat specifically for the purpose to get it off its flat spot on the brushes and working again.
The manager literally ran across the parking lot to catch me before I left, and scheduled an interview then and there.Because, you see, I had some actual mechanical experience and was willing to go under a hood, which most people dropping off resumes there weren’t and didn’t (and which my resume hadn’t indicated, because I was just papering the complex with them as a condition of getting my EI).
Hell, our computer repair business once got a service contract with a resort because I ran into a carpenter who had agreed to do a small job for us in exchange for some computer repair work, but then refused to do it, because although we fixed their computer and it had run perfectly for several days, after they had moved it to another floor of their house it had stopped working completely and wouldn’t even turn on, which was obviously because of something we had done, and not because something had jiggled loose (or was hooked up incorrectly) when they were carrying it. Because they had been very careful, you see.
The resort manager was standing nearby, heard the conversation, and gave me her card. We were there IT department for several years until they closed.
It’s rare, but these things do happen–especially if you’re willing to jump on them.
Good thing he didn’t ask her about a food handlers license.
It’s fine because according to the local government, what he serves isn’t actually food.
I’m pretty sure that a food handler’s license is required only of the person(s) who actually prepares the raw food — think the chef or the person in the back room rolling out the dough and applying the toppings. I would also assume that Galasso himself probably holds a food handler’s license, and the way it works in our state (Wisconsin) as long as the person with the license is present on the premises the license will cover any and all employees in much the same way that a licensed bartender must be present but that covers all persons mixing drinks or pouring beers.
A chef might need a license, as they’re handling raw meat and such, but that’s probably why pizza places and fast food restaurants use pre-cooked frozen meat.
That way greasy, half-trained teenagers (such as I was when I worked in a pizza place) can handle things and only occasionally give people diarrhea.
Man, you should’ve worked at nicer pizza places. My old job seasoned and ground our sausage fresh daily. Mind you, that was the ONLY meat we really “prepared” ourselves, but by god it was delicious.
Amusingly, I had to have a food handlers card to work at a gas station that didn’t even have food I had to prepare, but when I was working at the restaurant stocking the salad bar and preparing stuff for it, I didn’t. It’s a strange universe.
I’m in Illinois & work as a barista at a cafe that serves food. I don’t prepare any food other than coffee/drinks but still have a food handler’s license. I worked at the cafe for at least two months before getting it, though. Every barista at our place has a license. Obviously Chef and the cooks do as well. But it’s very possible to get a food job without a food license. Some places require employees to pay for them themselves and that can be pricey.
End of day, Pamela takes care of all the legal details so that (Mister) Galasso doesn’t get arrested.
…. Dammit, Pamela and Conquest are ALSO Galassos, why don’t they have equal rights to that na… oh, wait, forgot who I was talking about.
Well, they actually have first names. Galasso needs but one name!
On the same note, Galasso is definitely the last name then? Because Galasso seems a perfectly legitimate first name from parents who partook in whatever sort of upbringing produced Galasso.
He took Pamela’s surname when they got married and goes by nothing else.
And then named his daughter after that Conquest?
Yup. “Connie” for short.
I always figured he was from Brazil, and only went with one name.
I propose that Willis declare it to be canon that Galasso’s first name is — and shall forever be — “Lord”, as noted in this comic strip from back in 2012.
“Wait — “ (I hear you saying) “What sort of a first name is ‘Lord’? Who would name their child that?” I refer you to Garrison Keillor’s best-seller book, “Lake Wobegon Days”, in which he described the origin of Senator K. Torvaldson’s name:
And Uncle Senator K. Torvaldson — who else has a great-uncle named Senator? How do you explain to people that he was named that because his mother liked the sound of it?
-“BB”-
Why would you name a kid “Lord”? IDK why do I know so many Earls and Dukes?
I mean, I wouldn’t call “deliberately does not do their job properly” a strange firing whim, but OK.
Well, since “doing their job properly” in this case would have involved menacing them until they were cowed and ate whatever pizza was placed before them.
It definitely meets the criteria for “strange”
She wasn’t fired for giving them the wrong pizza, it was for failing to intimidate them into bending to her will.
I suspect she had the option of either serving them the correct pizza or cowing them into accepting the pizza she gave them. She did not do either, so she was fired.
That’s my take too. Either way, the wrong pizza wasn’t why she was fired.
“I think he wants us to treat ourselves”
Galasso requires no identification, for it is only a matter of time before all kneel before him.
Table 12 still hasn’t got its meat pizza.
Becky needs to take her order from herself and bring it to the chef who just hired her.
Becky’s been checking Dina for the past few days.
And in return, Dina’s been ‘tipping’ Becky…
But will Becky be able to both eat her (corrected) pizza and keep up with Galasso’s demanding work schedule?
THE DRAMA!!!
She needs Carla to teach her how to skate, then she can fly between tables like a ’50s carhop.
…and then she can join the roller derby team and hang out with Marcie and Malaya and it will be super rad and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Awww, Becky wants to show off all her nice paperwork. Don’t be sad, Becky. There will come a time when your status as a totally not illegal citizen will be appreciated.
I love how Dina is caught up in the madness of things. Because of course a “nice kisser” is what you need in a pizza place.
Connie: Actually…
Pamela: Daughter!…
Becky may be a DOOFUS, but she is a -responsible- DOOFUS.
That kisses nicely.
Reminds med of a great scene if Firefly, with Jayne. She did not go to all that trouble breaking into her house for nothing.
Oh? Which scene?
It’s late, so instead of filtering memorized Jayne scenes for something relevant my brain is just replaying them ALL AT ONCE and it’s hard to pick anything out
The one where they break into a hospital. He has gone to enormous pain to memorize a certain line in case they ask him somthing medical, not to blow his cover.
They DON’T ask him anything medical, but instead of keeping his head down and just get on with the heist he says the line, because frack it, he has memorized it!!!
I was totally about to reference that, and then I kept scrolling down and you did.
Awwww, I did’t want to steal your joke
There are enough firefly jokes for all of us!
From the way Dina’s looking off and smiling happily in panel 2, I think she started making a list what she thinks are Becky’s best qualities and may have gotten a bit sidetracked along the way
so question for Cerberus or someone equally knowledgeable: wouldn’t it be better if Galasso DID take her social security number and gave her checks? And this way she can tell the bank she has a legit job when she and Mr. Brown open an account?
Then again it might not be OVERLY important, I opened my first bank account when I was 14 and all my deposited money was cash for a long time, Becky is still a kid in the bank’s eyes, no?
I think it only makes a difference if she wants to open a credit account but I’m not 100% on that.
I’m not sure if this is a California thing or just varies by banks, but in my experience, unless you have some kind of severe money trouble in your history, banks here seem perfectly fine with providing checking and savings accounts with Visa ATM cards to anyone 18 or older, without caring a whit about documented income/employment…as long as you’re willing to pay monthly or annual account fees. Many banks waive the fees only if you set up regular direct deposit (typically from employment), or sometimes other strange things per their whims (once had a saving account that was free only so long as I had a regularly scheduled $25 transfer to it from my checking account…despite the fact that I nearly always immediately transferred it right back into checking).
Direct deposit is certainly one way to nearly ensure employment, but the first several years of my banking life I had a totally legit, fully documented job at a financial office that, for whatever reason (probably to save money) chose to pay everyone by company check instead of direct deposit. Which led me to investigate the weird, more shenanigan-y ways of obtaining free accounts. None required (other than the direct deposit option) any hint of employment or even just where my money was coming from.
For context, most of my banking experience was either with Bank of America, or local banks/credit unions. My first account I opened myself, I was not yet employed (other than some sporadic tutoring money), and got a free picnic basket for opening my account!
I don’t think Galasso is overly concerned with what is better for his underlings.
My parents opened a bank account for me when I was eight, so I don’t think banks really care, as long as you’re willing to sign off on their rules/fees/etc. Her credit score or whatever might be better if she could report her job though. It should still be fine as a reference for other jobs though, since they’d probably just call Galasso (whether or not he’s good at giving a reference would remain to be seen, though).
So unless she gets audited, she’s fine, and even then, it would probably depend on how much she made.
I’m Canadian, though
I’m sure that her documents will be taken sooner or later – by Pamela if nobody else.
That said, the paperwork, while irritating, is pretty useful down the road. Having an employer (who admits to the government that you’re an employee) gets you covered under unemployment if that employer is prone to impulsive firing.
…which is why Becky totally should be worried about working for Galasso. But she is too poor to have principles, and this outcome is entertaining for me, so…
(All this comes with the provision that I am not an expert, nor do I play one on the Internet. However, I did spend five years in fast food and ten more years as a cook.)
Galasso is totally in violation of the law at this point, on at least two counts:
1) Failing to check whether Becky is legally allowed to work
2) Without an SSN, he clearly cannot make legally required deductions from her paycheck, nor can he pay legally required employer taxes related to her employment
Assuming she can prove her citizenship, Becky is not doing anything illegal by working off the books for cash. However,
1) If she fails to self-report the income on her taxes, that would be tax fraud; also, if she is a self-employed contractor, she needs to report and pay taxes as such
2) she is not covered by Workers Comp or any other form of legal protection or insurance. If she throws her back out, if Sydney Yus sues her for damages, she’s screwed
3) since this job doesn’t appear on the books, she can’t list it when she goes to apply for her next job
At this point, since she needs cash more than anything else, it makes sense for her to take the “job.” But a restaurant kitchen is full of things that can send you to the emergency room — I have seen a healthy, strong 25-year-old guy lift a 50-pound box of shortening and be unable to work for six months — and she would be better off finding a real job as soon as possible. This will probably not occur to her.
As others have said, this is Galasso. He can’t be bothered with such things. Likely Pamela checks the paperwork behind the scenes – and handles all the required licensing and inspections and things for the business as well.
I don’t really see how Galasso’s Pizza! (and Subs) could have stayed open even as long as we’ve seen if it’s just completely ignoring the regulations.
I could be wrong. This could all be the setup for a plotline. I doubt it though.
I’m thinking it’s just that the laws of narrative causality are a lot more Shortpackedy inside Galasso’s Pizza (and subs) than they are outside.
*Drops rubber-banded wad of cash on a table*
“Behold! The capital Galasso’s is required to give you in exchange for your labors because the economic system has yet to bow down before Galasso’s will!”
… SOME DAY…
The happiness is growing ever the more worrisome. Damn you Willis, for making me possess that line of thinking.
I would not be at all surprised if Galasso does not require these documents because he has declared his pizza (and sub) shop a sovereign nation where the only identification needed is his will.
Aka Pizza Kingdom.
Here’s hoping that more time spent at Galasso’s brings up a Ninja Rick appearance…
I am not completely certain, but I believe Ninja Rick is the one character WIllis has explicitly stated will not make an appearance. If someone else could provide a link backing me up, I would be immensely grateful. I would even be willing to offer some percentage of my acquired internet points from the good Emperor (assuming he has not declared them non-transferable).
Here he confirms Ninja Rick probably won’t be here because e’s based on a real person: http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/81402402999/if-guns-is-the-off-limits-character-from-the
He’s likewise confirmed this in comments.
Someone has to be slicing the pizza…
There are others who won’t show up for the same reason. Hooper, for example. Or Ronnie.
Guns is the only character I’m aware of whom Willis specifically chose not to include because he hates her.
She actually squeaked in a reference in a Patreon strip. Joe had her listed as “chick with rifle tattoos.”
He did? Squeeeee!
…I liked Guns. Not so much because she was likeable but because she was adorable.
Here’s her April Fools redesign.
http://itswalky.tumblr.com/post/81423773440/i-have-bowed-to-your-demands-and-added-guns-to
There is a distinct possibility that she’s Agatha’s unseen notorious bongowad roommate.
I’ve seen that!
Willis has confirmed she’s not, and said that she was too broke for college. I’m assuming she lives in Bloomington though. Plus she’s not really mean or bongo-y. She’s a hipster, sure, but that’s hardly the same.
My money is on Meredith for Agatha’s mean roommate.
Well, confirmed is a strong word. More like he said he wasn’t going to add her, despite Agatha needing a roommate.
Who is this Guns person and why is she so hated?
(I mean I gather she’s from elsewhere in the Walkyverse. But more specifically, who is she?)
Member of a squad of secret agents. Likes to double wield guns. Hipster taste in music. Willis doesn’t like her because she’s a hipster.
I see!
Guns was part of the sexy ladies squad, with Mandy, Grace, Sierra, and Marcie. Her thing was, surprise, guns.
I’m still operating on the theory that Agatha’s unseen roommate is Bloodrose, the never-clearly-seen fifth member of Daisy’s squad.
Galasso demands you stuff your impotent face with pizza or it will come out of your paycheck.
Expected, but nonetheless, a nice punchline.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT’S PERFECT
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!!
DOOOOOOFUSES!
FOOOOOOOOLS!
When you’re part of a team?
No, that’s when everything is cool.
But is it the LONGFORM birth certificate? How do we know your parents didn’t sneak in and paid a newspaper to print out fake birth stories so you could work waiting tables at a pizza parlor? I’ve paid people to dig up your history and they found yooge things, believe me, tremendous.
Gallaso always speaks in third person and probably voted for Bob Dole.
In 2012.
Bob Dole: Bob Dole loves Galazzo’s, vote for Bob Dole in 2020!
Galazzo: Galazzo approves this message, cow your unworthy hunger into submission at Galazzo’s Pizza!
Bob Dole : Bob Dole wishes to add: And Subs!
Did Galasso just tell Becky to serve herself and Dina pizza, or did he already forget that she was kinda the reason he fired Sydney? Either way this is hilarious.
THE MIGHTY GALASSO does not care about such trivialities. He needed a serf, he got one. Now it can mind it’s own pitiful serfish business while he continues being glorious.
Never write, “She kisses nicely.” in a reference letter.
I’ve got one that says I’m “nice and polite and EVEN BAKE CAKE!!!!”
Being a male au pair sometimes comes with the benefit of low initial expectations.
Unless it’s for an actress specializing in romance films and who is good at stage kisses?
Something tells me that Becky is going to quickly learn that Galasso’s management style can be summarised as ‘random acts of supervillainy’.
Just wash your hands before you work, Becky.
Depends on exactly she intends to “serve” Table 12…
…yeah, better wash your hands either way, Becky.
more like table 34 amirite
(yes, i could have gone with table 69, but i have class)
(well, 3/5ths of class)
[butts claim to have class]
[immediately makes a math joke]
hmmm…..
Ergo, butts has a math class.
*VERY reluctant slowclap*
Which you should be attending, rather than lollygagging here.
Eh, it would be one thing to compromise one’s studies by skipping a whole class. But to only skip 60%? That’s only a three-fifths compromise.
(I’M SORRY)
No, you’re not.
“You doin’ alright then?” “I suppose everything is adequate.” “Sweet! This’ll be a breeze!”
I suddenly realised that Galasso may have hit on the next major development in food service – Self-service! Take the cost of the pizza out of the amount you legally owe them for serving their own table as if they were a temp!
That’s a bit like feudalism… which might be what Galasso is going for.
“Table Twelve reports complete satisfaction, sir.”
“Actually, Evil Minion Kin reports that Table 12 is requesting ‘further smooches and head scritches’?”
“I’m on it, Mr. Galazzo, sir!”
Well, at least he said please.
Yay Becky!
Probably a good thing that she’s concerned.
shows good common sense. I’d keep applying to jobs while I worked here honesty
I would bet Pamela handles a lot of things like legal paperwork and so forth. Becky will need her paperwork, but Galasso won’t be the one taking it.
who’s Pamela?
Mrs Galasso; she’s alive in the DoA universe. Conquest (or ‘Connie’, as I think of her) is a lot younger – High School age.
Panel 3: ‘Quiet’? Galazzo seems much more of the ‘SILENCE!’ type, to me.
See – he DOES do nuance.
Oh I hope not, those are crappy, overpriced speakers.
Oh, Becky….. This strip reminds me so much of when I got my first job after high school. Little did I know of the extreme hatred for humanity retail & food service would engender within my soul.
This man speaks of himself in the third person? That sort of superior, supercilious attitude is out of place in a man that owns/runs/manages a pizzeria. (But he probably pays in cash so run with it, Becky!)
That’s Galasso’s whole shtick. <a href="http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1His first appearance sums it up.
I think I just started reading the entire archive of Shortpacked WHOOPS
she should be fine as long as she doesn’t mess up orders and then become megalomaniacal about how much power she has over the customers (which is technically about none.)
Galasso’s establishment is sounding more and more shady as teh day goes on and I get less groggy
Most establishments that you start the day in groggy sound like that.
….. wait, “groggy” means “under or recovering from the influence of grog”, right?
“Wait, so… if I’m supposed to attend to table 12, should I serve us the pizza we actually ordered?”
“No, you shall serve ME, Galasso! Now go attend to table 12!”
I honestly can’t tell if Galasso is an ass or not.