And may I just say sir or madam how screwed up it is to have a black powder munitions device that uses severed human heads as its artillery? What on earth is wrong with you??
Is she going for that though? I thought she didn’t want to be at the actual party, so seeing Joyce before that made sense to me. But you’re probably right that’s how it’ll work out now.
Yeah, but the whole who-knows-which-things issue would make it difficult for her to discuss that with Joyce. She can at least say “I heard you broke up, what happened, are you okay?” to Ethan without it being weird.
Well she is also “the girl whose almost-rapist I let get away”. Let’s not forget that.
But it still remains true that Ethan is a higher priority in this case.
Until she was “that girl who was almost raped at a party and I let the rapist get away and now she’s terrified to go anywhere alone and cried on my shoulder.” Amber’s obviously closer to Ethan, but I think she can spare a moment to be concerned for Joyce as well.
Not as Amber. Amazi-Girl might make a visit at some point depending on what Ethan tells her other persona, but she doesn’t have Ryan’s on a platter yet.
Failure to convert a straightline into a joke violates the Law of the Conservation of Comedy, which is one of the most basic principles which makes life in this Universe tolerable!! HOWEVER, even top theorists disagree whether puns are actually comedy. And there are religions that believe that puns are traps set for us by Satan. So Plasma might have actually scored Karma by missing that opportunity. Of course, on the other hand, this Comments section is a pit of punditry…
“Gordon, I just tweeted a Tumblr link that shows the answer to all of Riddler’s clues. I’ll post an Instagram of where I tie him up for you to come get him.”
“Gordon, your team did a really great job apprehending that suspect the other day so I posted a video of adorable kittens on my youtube channel (batmantheman134) for them to enjoy.”
That should be a running thing with Ethan. He keeps getting into conversations where both parties need to obscure what they are talking about with metaphors and vague allusions.
Eventually everyone gets so used to it that Ethan tries to have a conversation about Transformers and whoever he’s talking to simply says “Understood” and assassinates a senator or something.
Oddly enough I feel like this might be what actually happens. Like sometimes I see a good comment then bam, that whats next. I would say that Wilis was taking plots from the comments if there wasnt that buffer.
What makes you think she has a problem with it? She probably just wants to talk to Ethan about the breakup, make sure he’s okay, and also make sure he’s not going to try to re-closet himself AGAIN with the next girl that comes along.
She wants details. Did he finally come to his senses? Did Joyce call it off? Did something happen? Why would Joyce be throwing a party on the same day they broke up?
Fun fact I own like the one pair of girl jeans with real pockets in the whole world and they always make me suspicious that I actually bought dude jeans somehow.
I have two pairs of Jeans that I’ve owned since like 2009 and they have perfectly normal pockets. None of the Jeans I’ve bought since do though. MARTY, WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE YEAR 2009!
Eh, it’s 6am here and I haven’t slept. So you know, Marty, Meghan, tomehto, tomahto.
Seriously, what happened to fashion though? Did they suddenly decide they’d sell more purses by effectively removing our pockets? … Wait that actually does make sense. And the phones getting bigger and bigger… It’s a conspiracy!
Maybe you don’t stare at men’s asses as much as I do, but men tend to put phones and wallets in the hind pockets. So bulges there. (makes a real waste of an otherwise nice behind, I’ll tell you that.)
@Saki – I actually never put things in my back pockets, because I find it uncomfortable, and am always worried I’ll sit on my phone and break it. But I’m glad there’s an attractiveness sideeffect!
I don’t about other dudes but I keep a lot of crap in my pockets. Car keys, house keys, my wallet, my phone, and my mp3 player. I keep them all in my front pockets because I feel like it’d be harder for somebody to pickpocket me if my stuff isn’t in my back pockets.
Daniel the Human tend to keep him mobile in a pouch on his belt to the left, keys & a solid digital camera in his front left hip pocket & wallet in the right. Sometimes gum in his back right, but not vital. The other stuff, he panics a bit if it’s not there, even the mobile WHILE HE’S TALKING ON IT XD. You Humans are funny like that…
Yeah, well, that’s how we make sure we don’t lose stuff. Do you have any idea how much important stuff I lost before I started actually using my pockets? A lot. If we don’t panic at the absence, it get’s lost.
*starts singing French national anthem*
Allons enfants de la Patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!
Contre nous de la tyrannie
L’étendard sanglant est levé ♪
Oh hey, there’s knocking on the door, lemme see who it is-
[User disconnected. This account has been terminated for national security reasons.]
I have a postman over-shoulder bag to carry things like my wallet, phone and towel, Douglas Adams was right towels are surprisingly handy to have on hand.
(I have a towell signed by Douglas Adams AND i know where it is. He did a reading and book signing at my uni. I brought a towell rather than a book to the signing. He gave me a look that meant either, “As if noone has done this before” OR “you cheap punk youre suppossed to buy a book for me to sign”. But he didnt say a word & he did sign my towell. 🙂
Can you imagine if women didn’t have to spend five minutes digging through their purse every time they need to check their phones or make a call? Dudes would be robbed of that golden occasion to stare at those asses on every other woman that walks by! It must not be!
“That golden occasion to stare at those asses on every other woman”
You mean, to see if one of them is THE fabled chick who carries her phone in her back pocket?
The names O’Malley; Amber O’Malley.
Well that flows a hell of a lot better than I expected. Based on the evidence she simply needs to try harder to usurp Bond.
*Amber poses on IU roof, overlooking the main grounds, rain falling all around her. A flash of lightning turns her form into a terrifying silhouette, and as the thunder rumbles, these words rumble from her lips, in a gravelly tone…*
I agree.
First, he always introduces himself (“My name is Bond … James Bond”).
Second, wherever he goes he leaves a trail of bodies — including at least one beautiful woman — and destruction in his wake as if he was one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Third, he makes love to at least one woman (and usually several more — “Oh, the things I do for England!”) during each escapade so it’s not like there’s a lack of DNA evidence to link him to the scene.
Fourth, he’s been at it for so long that just about every person on the face of the earth as well as the civilizations of at least three other as-yet-undiscovered life-sustaining planets are able to recognize him on sight.
And yet, he always succeeds in the end. The Power of Plot is strong in that one.
And to be fair, the movie version of Bond is significantly more ridiculous than the original one from the novels. Even in the Fleming books he’s pretty implausible, but it’s nothing compared to what Hollywood does with him.
Which is for the best. Real espionage is deadly dull to watch from the outside, and not all that interesting from within unless something is going horribly wrong.
Meghan, I suggest enlightening yourself with a good read through of the Oh Joy Sex Toy webcomic. Erika Moen’s a bottomless well of quirky knowledge about, well, sex toys as well as doing women’s health articles and the odd bit of porn from guest artists. It’s a long way from being as prurient as the title makes it sound. This week’s strip covered urinary tract infections, for ex.
I haven’t seen ANYTHING powered by Cs or Ds in, like, 20 years. Most sex toys, like most everything else that’s battery operated are either a couple AA or a couple AAA. (There’s also some that use watch batteries, and a few with rechargeable internal batteries.)
Must be made by the companies who make C and D batteries as a loss leader. ‘Here’s a cheap flashlight…now fork over the moolah for batteries you’ll never ever find for a reasonable price, if you find them at all.’ >_>
The race is on for “Most Awkward Interaction Between Exes” over at Read Hall!
Over here we see Amber and Ethan, challenging the lead set by earlier favorites Danny and Dorothy. The arrival of Becky had seemed to tilt affairs in Danny and Dorothy’s favor, but Amber and Ethan have brought in Jacob to serve the role of Third Party Who Complicates Matters.
Who will be victorious? Well, the readers, of course. We’re the ones who get to witness the whole thing.
Alright, taking bets. Currently 3-1 in favor of Danny/Dorothy, with Amber/Ethan coming in at 15/1, but if you want those odds you gotta be quick, word around the joint is Amber/Ethan may just take the lead soon, the potential IS there…
My headcanon is dark, I realized, as my Shortpacked! had poor Ethan die “Life of Brian” style at the hands of the Second Eatons (only for the rest of the series to be a dying dream) while my current headcanon is stunned Amber hasn’t gone on a killing spree to protect her secret identity. I am saddened Jacob isn’t bi, though, as Ethan and he would make a very unconventional couple!
Wow, that was random and totally missed my essential point that I think Amber needs to talk to Ethan about not keeping secrets and how this leaves her feeling alone–I think i shouldn’t have taken that cold medicine before posting. *thumps head on keyboard*
To be fair Amberdad is such a sexist creep that he probably couldn’t imagine Amber kicking his ass, even after she’d made a good start at it only hours before.
If we’re seriously talking about Amazi Girl’s disguise then it’s probably important to note that the Blaine fight was at night in the pouring rain. And Blaine wears glasses. I don’t think that qualifies for good visibility conditions.
No, but it’s still his daughter. My main point is that standard superhero rules apply, and Dina is the only one who noticed, including several people who have met her in both personas. The only difference is people shit on Danny for it, and only him. It’s kind of a bullshit double standard people employ due to disliking Danny.
I think it’s because we all know that superhero cliches like Clark Kent’s glasses are kind of silly, so the idea that Danny can spend so much time with both identities and not see through it clashes with the realistic setting of DoA. That, and I think that people took not wanting to immediately learn her identity until “the right time” as him deliberately hiding himself from the obvious truth that Amber was Amazi-Girl, whereas Dina, Dorothy, and Mandy and Grace all seemed to figure it out with relative ease, so Danny gets the short stick from the comments again even though Dina, Mandy and Grace learning it was played for laughs, and Dorothy kinda lucked out with evidence falling right in her face for her to connect the dots.
Actually, there’s been a study on the effectiveness of uniforms to hide someone’s identity. Even if you know something, the first thing you notice is the uniform, and if they’re trying to keep their identity secret, they can keep you guessing.
Just because Amber is Blaine’s daughter, doesn’t mean he’s going to recognize her in absolutely terrible visibility conditions. Especially since I think it’s implied that before Family Weekend, they hadn’t seen each other in years. Plus I feel like Blaine would actually be quicker to dismiss Amazi Girl = Amber. Amazi Girl put him in the hospital, and even though she punched him once, Blaine probably still considers Amber to be too weak to be able to do that.
Oh. New random pairing. Jacob x Dina! Together they can discuss how people keep failing at hiding obvious things while still thinking they’re doing it successfully-
Well there’s an image I didn’t want stuck in my head. When I ship people I don’t really think as much about Slipshine-type stuff as I think about, I don’t know, how cute they’d look holding hands, or deciding what movie to watch (J: “Fast and Furious!” D: “Jurassic World!” J: “Fast and Furious!” D: “Jurassic World!” etc. etc.) or how out of place Dina would look in a gym and how out of place Jacob would look in a store entirely dedicated to selling dinosaur-related goods (for the sake of my fun I’m gonna assume those exist). Favourite image of the day: Jacob wearing a slightly too small adult sized version of this http://image.dhgate.com/albu_337776194_00/1.0×0.jpg
I wonder if Jacob’s suddenly going to have “some errand to run” and leave to give them some privacy. Or maybe Ethan will suddenly decide to be bold and come out right then and there and there won’t really be a need for Jacob to leave? Wishful thinking of mine.
“Ethan, I need to talk to you privately.” That’s a thing that happens, Amber, even to people who aren’t vigilantes talking to closeted gay guys. You don’t actually need to pretend you aren’t doing it.
I keep wondering if Jacob’s crush on Amber from the other ‘verse is going to come into play at some point(?) He may be unmasterfully trying to prolong their interactions.
Not sure that’s likely, he’s pretty different from his other self. He seems not to have his Walkyverse addiction issues in DoA – or maybe they haven’t surfaced yet, he is pretty young right now.
I just realized we know next to nothing of Jacob’s and Ethan’s interaction as room mates – aside from the occasional punch line that Ethan has the hotz for him.
Like, what was their conversation like before Amber showed up? I’m curious.
So… Amber knows Joyce and Ethan broke up, but doesn’t know the circumstances. She might be thinking that Ethan precipitated it. In fact, she probably thinks Ethan was behind it, and that he’s going to come out of the closet now. I wonder what her reaction will be to the idea that Ethan wants to stay in for a while longer, and that it was Joyce’s idea, in an effort to encourage him to be honest with himself — the same way Amber wants him to be.
Oh, theres 3 of you, dang nab it i need new glasses
Or maybe its time for that cataract operation. I wondrr if i can get my hip replaced and a few stents put in at the same time. I think ive got a coupon for that.
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“NO, Amber, Jacob and I haven’t done the nasty”
“DON’T INTERFERE WITH MY HEAD CANON”
Your head canon was misaimed. 😛
And may I just say sir or madam how screwed up it is to have a black powder munitions device that uses severed human heads as its artillery? What on earth is wrong with you??
You misunderstand, it is a hat-mounted artillery piece.
That aims 100% head shots.
That’s my headcanon…
New headcannon.
Must be a new TF2 item.
Abundance of severed human heads is not unexpected in the context of Jen Aside!
Amber’s headcanon wasn’t misaimed. She’s just walking her shots. 😉
You are supposed to bracket first.
Jacob will just sit in the corner and read a book while they talk
Cue split screen where Sarah and Jacob are reading, then singing a duet.
Let’s see: something from Rent . . .
“Your living in America,
at the end of the Millenium,
Your living in America,
This song really dates this play….”
Yessss!
525,600 minutes
525,600 moments so dear
525,600 strips
For one in-comic year
Dumbing of Age the Musical.
Now on Broadway
Or of course: Dumbing of Age as written by Shakespear.
This secret that has doth been kept from I. Will I ever know thine secret that the lady dares not to show.
Prom night, from Not Another Teen Movie.
But you sure care even if we won’t tell you, it’s the principle of the matter.
So, what character is your icon now?
I thought maybe Amber would go to Joyce to check on how she’s doing, I guess it makes more sense that she’d talk to Ethan first though.
Rushing off to see Joyce would be unnecessary, she already has an invitation to go see Joyce later that night.
Is she going for that though? I thought she didn’t want to be at the actual party, so seeing Joyce before that made sense to me. But you’re probably right that’s how it’ll work out now.
She knows Ethan a lot better than she does Joyce.
I know, buy Joyce is the one who is scared of going around alone because of what happened. Ethan should be fine comparatively.
Yeah, but the whole who-knows-which-things issue would make it difficult for her to discuss that with Joyce. She can at least say “I heard you broke up, what happened, are you okay?” to Ethan without it being weird.
Amber is *Ethan’s* friend. Joyce isn’t high on her priority list really.
Joyce is “that idiot that is telling my friend it’s better to be in the closet.” to Amber.
Well she is also “the girl whose almost-rapist I let get away”. Let’s not forget that.
But it still remains true that Ethan is a higher priority in this case.
Until she was “that girl who was almost raped at a party and I let the rapist get away and now she’s terrified to go anywhere alone and cried on my shoulder.” Amber’s obviously closer to Ethan, but I think she can spare a moment to be concerned for Joyce as well.
Not as Amber. Amazi-Girl might make a visit at some point depending on what Ethan tells her other persona, but she doesn’t have Ryan’s on a platter yet.
Damn typos. I’ll leave you all to decide what portion of Ryan’s anatomy she might deliver to Joyce.
You could’ve just started by texting him “We need to talk, are you alone?” but that wouldn’t be impulsive enough now would it?
Amber impulsive? Come on dude don’t be absurd.
Not very superhero of her. Does Batman just give Commissioner Gordon an email address?
batman@wayne.enterprises.com
So does Batman pay for email from Bruce Wayne or is it one of Wayne’s charity things?
He pays for it by having it direct debited from his Bat Credit-card.
Missed an opportunity to say debat card
Failure to convert a straightline into a joke violates the Law of the Conservation of Comedy, which is one of the most basic principles which makes life in this Universe tolerable!! HOWEVER, even top theorists disagree whether puns are actually comedy. And there are religions that believe that puns are traps set for us by Satan. So Plasma might have actually scored Karma by missing that opportunity. Of course, on the other hand, this Comments section is a pit of punditry…
Knowing Bruce, he’s probably got a whole slew of .bat urls set up.
“Gordon, I just tweeted a Tumblr link that shows the answer to all of Riddler’s clues. I’ll post an Instagram of where I tie him up for you to come get him.”
“Gordon, your team did a really great job apprehending that suspect the other day so I posted a video of adorable kittens on my youtube channel (batmantheman134) for them to enjoy.”
Batman having a rich internet life just makes me think.
You know he has a whole bunch of bad poetry sitting on a livejournal somewhere, posted to a group he’s the moderator and only member of.
BlackSouloftheKnight or some such nonsense.
… Instant headcannon.
“Jeez, Ethan, for having such a big secret, you’re not very good at keeping it.”
“Well, I don’t get as much practice as you.”
I’d be ok with a few more strips of Amber and Ethan arguing as obtusely as possible as Jacob watches.
Oh good I’m not the only one XD
I think we all need that after the last couple of strips.
Indeed.
Adorable, aren’t they? Almost as good as that elevator conversation between Ethan and Danny where they were both trying not to say Amazi-Girl.
That should be a running thing with Ethan. He keeps getting into conversations where both parties need to obscure what they are talking about with metaphors and vague allusions.
Eventually everyone gets so used to it that Ethan tries to have a conversation about Transformers and whoever he’s talking to simply says “Understood” and assassinates a senator or something.
*waits for it to be Hooper*
Oddly enough I feel like this might be what actually happens. Like sometimes I see a good comment then bam, that whats next. I would say that Wilis was taking plots from the comments if there wasnt that buffer.
Perhaps that’s the trick…
-stares suspiciously at the buffer for indecent lengths of time-
Maybe the buffer is a LIE. *crowd gasps dramatically*
Wait…the buffer is a lie…the cake was a lie…
HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!
Buffer is a lie… cake is a lie… Half Life three confirmed… ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!
WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Wonderful mental image of you standing in a game store screaming at a copy of Agricola.
I can’t believe it’s not buffer
…I…I can’t believe I missed gem last night. I am a failure and everything is awful!
I can’t believe it’s not buffer…
Jacob is too chill 4 wacky hijinks
“We need to talk about boys touching each other.”
Jacob: “Ooh, you guys are discussing sports? Now I’m interested.”
Check your privileged information!
I was gonna say “information privilege”, but close enough.
lol tiny Amber between those two tall dudes is hilarious to me for some reason.
Hilarious? Try adorbale.
porque no los dos?
Porque tu touch tuself en la noche
“Easy there, Tiny Fury.”
“I may be tiny, but my big butt means physics is on my side!”
Tiny, but fierce
Ethan your Danny is showing.
nahh, his danny doesn’t show as long as he keeps his pants pulled up.
That… that is so not what I meant o_o
Or his shower basket in front of it.
I honestly thought Ethan’s response was something that sounded more Dan-like
Maybe Danny’s rubbing off on him-?
(oh the puns)
Saki, I love you.
Why does Amber have a problem with Ethan and Joyce being splitsville? Amber even said she thought Ethan’d be “happier with a frikkin’ boy.”
Have I missed something?
What makes you think she has a problem with it? She probably just wants to talk to Ethan about the breakup, make sure he’s okay, and also make sure he’s not going to try to re-closet himself AGAIN with the next girl that comes along.
She wants details. Did he finally come to his senses? Did Joyce call it off? Did something happen? Why would Joyce be throwing a party on the same day they broke up?
The word privilege has such an ominous overtone in this day and age.
Check your privilege checking privilege!
*Checks my pockets* Still got them thank goodness…
Always check your pockets. If they only go down two inches, you’ve got girl pants.
The things I’ve learned from Walky.
Not sure why fashion designers (which includes many women) are not willing to give women’s clothes proper pockets.
Fun fact I own like the one pair of girl jeans with real pockets in the whole world and they always make me suspicious that I actually bought dude jeans somehow.
I have two pairs of Jeans that I’ve owned since like 2009 and they have perfectly normal pockets. None of the Jeans I’ve bought since do though. MARTY, WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE YEAR 2009!
No no it’s Meghan. I know though both start with an M it can be confusing.
But yes 2009 shopping spree!
Eh, it’s 6am here and I haven’t slept. So you know, Marty, Meghan, tomehto, tomahto.
Seriously, what happened to fashion though? Did they suddenly decide they’d sell more purses by effectively removing our pockets? … Wait that actually does make sense. And the phones getting bigger and bigger… It’s a conspiracy!
Damn that’s two conspiracies in one night.
At this rate we’ll of solved it all by next week.
Guys wear things like jeans all the time and you don’t see them with huge bulges in their pockets.
But they do have small bulges!
It’s cause phones are starting to go back to being smaller after getting too large.
Maybe you don’t stare at men’s asses as much as I do, but men tend to put phones and wallets in the hind pockets. So bulges there. (makes a real waste of an otherwise nice behind, I’ll tell you that.)
Do they really? Wouldn’t your phone like break if you sat on it though? That’s the last place I’d ever put it…
Depending on how the pants are cut and where how hight the pockets are exatcly, they can be just high enough that they don’t get sat on.
Don’t guys tend to wear their pants baggy-ish, whereas women tend to wear them snugger AND want a cleaner “line” (is that the term?)?
Honestly I just try to wear in such a way that they don’t show my panties and call that good enough.
@Saki – I actually never put things in my back pockets, because I find it uncomfortable, and am always worried I’ll sit on my phone and break it. But I’m glad there’s an attractiveness sideeffect!
I don’t about other dudes but I keep a lot of crap in my pockets. Car keys, house keys, my wallet, my phone, and my mp3 player. I keep them all in my front pockets because I feel like it’d be harder for somebody to pickpocket me if my stuff isn’t in my back pockets.
Daniel the Human tend to keep him mobile in a pouch on his belt to the left, keys & a solid digital camera in his front left hip pocket & wallet in the right. Sometimes gum in his back right, but not vital. The other stuff, he panics a bit if it’s not there, even the mobile WHILE HE’S TALKING ON IT XD. You Humans are funny like that…
Yeah, well, that’s how we make sure we don’t lose stuff. Do you have any idea how much important stuff I lost before I started actually using my pockets? A lot. If we don’t panic at the absence, it get’s lost.
Huh yeah. Maybe we should stop before the government decides we’re a liability….
That reply was meant for a different place in the thread. Oh well.
I think it’s too late for that. Vive la France!
*starts singing French national anthem*
Allons enfants de la Patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!
Contre nous de la tyrannie
L’étendard sanglant est levé ♪
Oh hey, there’s knocking on the door, lemme see who it is-
[User disconnected. This account has been terminated for national security reasons.]
Saki! S-
These are not the comments you’re looking for.
Move along
Move along.
*groaaaan*
Especially in the age of smartphones. How does that even work if you don’t feel like bringing a purse that day?
I have a postman over-shoulder bag to carry things like my wallet, phone and towel, Douglas Adams was right towels are surprisingly handy to have on hand.
(I have a towell signed by Douglas Adams AND i know where it is. He did a reading and book signing at my uni. I brought a towell rather than a book to the signing. He gave me a look that meant either, “As if noone has done this before” OR “you cheap punk youre suppossed to buy a book for me to sign”. But he didnt say a word & he did sign my towell. 🙂
Cause if women had real pockets some of them might start putting STUFF in those pockets and then, POCKET ANDROGYNY!!!
Can you imagine if women didn’t have to spend five minutes digging through their purse every time they need to check their phones or make a call? Dudes would be robbed of that golden occasion to stare at those asses on every other woman that walks by! It must not be!
“That golden occasion to stare at those asses on every other woman”
You mean, to see if one of them is THE fabled chick who carries her phone in her back pocket?
That of course is what you say if you are caught.
“That golden occasion to stare at those asses on every other woman”
btw saki, that “golden opportunity” is called “life”
You’d make a terrible secret agent, Ethan.
Amber’s not exactly 007 either. Which is funny, considering the whole superhero thing.
The names O’Malley; Amber O’Malley.
Well that flows a hell of a lot better than I expected. Based on the evidence she simply needs to try harder to usurp Bond.
Every time i hear Ambers surname I can’t help but think of the aristocats.
Amber is batman
“I’m Amazi Girl
Jason is James Bond
“The names Chesterfield; Jason Chesterfield”
Well, she’s less a superhero and more a violently unstable person attempting to divide her personality and uses violence as a psychological outlet.
Shhh. Don’t ruin it.
So like Batman then?
Yeeaaup
Like most superheroes, really.
Batman really falls apart if you actually look at the situation with a perspective other than ‘that is so cool’.
*Amber poses on IU roof, overlooking the main grounds, rain falling all around her. A flash of lightning turns her form into a terrifying silhouette, and as the thunder rumbles, these words rumble from her lips, in a gravelly tone…*
“I’m Batman- I mean Amazi-Girl…”
007 is a terrible secret agent, so that doesn’t really say much.
Can’t argue with that, aleast regards to ladies as they either go all backstapping or getting backstapped xD
Nothing wrong with getting your backs tapped by a fine lady!
I agree.
First, he always introduces himself (“My name is Bond … James Bond”).
Second, wherever he goes he leaves a trail of bodies — including at least one beautiful woman — and destruction in his wake as if he was one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Third, he makes love to at least one woman (and usually several more — “Oh, the things I do for England!”) during each escapade so it’s not like there’s a lack of DNA evidence to link him to the scene.
Fourth, he’s been at it for so long that just about every person on the face of the earth as well as the civilizations of at least three other as-yet-undiscovered life-sustaining planets are able to recognize him on sight.
And yet, he always succeeds in the end. The Power of Plot is strong in that one.
And to be fair, the movie version of Bond is significantly more ridiculous than the original one from the novels. Even in the Fleming books he’s pretty implausible, but it’s nothing compared to what Hollywood does with him.
Which is for the best. Real espionage is deadly dull to watch from the outside, and not all that interesting from within unless something is going horribly wrong.
But a great decoy… 😀
That’s one difference between Jacob and Other Jacob. Other Jacob would give a fuck, maybe even two.
Other Jacob would give exactly as many fucks as you want him to.
Just as long as you provide him with the D… batteries that is.
But he takes two AAs…
Surely vibrators use at least C size batteries if not D size.
…Well I certainly wouldn’t know…
-for seriously though idfk-
Meghan, I suggest enlightening yourself with a good read through of the Oh Joy Sex Toy webcomic. Erika Moen’s a bottomless well of quirky knowledge about, well, sex toys as well as doing women’s health articles and the odd bit of porn from guest artists. It’s a long way from being as prurient as the title makes it sound. This week’s strip covered urinary tract infections, for ex.
I haven’t seen ANYTHING powered by Cs or Ds in, like, 20 years. Most sex toys, like most everything else that’s battery operated are either a couple AA or a couple AAA. (There’s also some that use watch batteries, and a few with rechargeable internal batteries.)
some cheapo flashlights do
Must be made by the companies who make C and D batteries as a loss leader. ‘Here’s a cheap flashlight…now fork over the moolah for batteries you’ll never ever find for a reasonable price, if you find them at all.’ >_>
I would have said proper motivation – ie; the right batteries & Sarah’s choice of settings…
Until his batteries run down, anyway.
The race is on for “Most Awkward Interaction Between Exes” over at Read Hall!
Over here we see Amber and Ethan, challenging the lead set by earlier favorites Danny and Dorothy. The arrival of Becky had seemed to tilt affairs in Danny and Dorothy’s favor, but Amber and Ethan have brought in Jacob to serve the role of Third Party Who Complicates Matters.
Who will be victorious? Well, the readers, of course. We’re the ones who get to witness the whole thing.
Alright, taking bets. Currently 3-1 in favor of Danny/Dorothy, with Amber/Ethan coming in at 15/1, but if you want those odds you gotta be quick, word around the joint is Amber/Ethan may just take the lead soon, the potential IS there…
My headcanon is dark, I realized, as my Shortpacked! had poor Ethan die “Life of Brian” style at the hands of the Second Eatons (only for the rest of the series to be a dying dream) while my current headcanon is stunned Amber hasn’t gone on a killing spree to protect her secret identity. I am saddened Jacob isn’t bi, though, as Ethan and he would make a very unconventional couple!
Wow, that was random and totally missed my essential point that I think Amber needs to talk to Ethan about not keeping secrets and how this leaves her feeling alone–I think i shouldn’t have taken that cold medicine before posting. *thumps head on keyboard*
Betcha Jacob knows Amber is Amazi-girl. “You’re serious, you thought a mask and combing your hair a bit differently would work as a disguise?”
“Well it worked on Danny!”
Danny doesn’t count, he has the observational skills of a dead monkey.
(yeah I don’t know where that analogy came from either.)
Oh come on he’s not that bad. He’s at least as good as a tranquilized monkey…like a really really tranquilized monkey, but not like a dead one yeash!
Okay, tranquilized, I’ll grant you that. Walkyverse Danny is the one with the dead monkey skills. This one’s a little more competent. 🙂
And literally everyone but Dina. Even Dorothy and seemingly her own father didn’t recognize her. But Danny Dannying Dannydo.
To be fair Amberdad is such a sexist creep that he probably couldn’t imagine Amber kicking his ass, even after she’d made a good start at it only hours before.
If we’re seriously talking about Amazi Girl’s disguise then it’s probably important to note that the Blaine fight was at night in the pouring rain. And Blaine wears glasses. I don’t think that qualifies for good visibility conditions.
No, but it’s still his daughter. My main point is that standard superhero rules apply, and Dina is the only one who noticed, including several people who have met her in both personas. The only difference is people shit on Danny for it, and only him. It’s kind of a bullshit double standard people employ due to disliking Danny.
I think it’s because we all know that superhero cliches like Clark Kent’s glasses are kind of silly, so the idea that Danny can spend so much time with both identities and not see through it clashes with the realistic setting of DoA. That, and I think that people took not wanting to immediately learn her identity until “the right time” as him deliberately hiding himself from the obvious truth that Amber was Amazi-Girl, whereas Dina, Dorothy, and Mandy and Grace all seemed to figure it out with relative ease, so Danny gets the short stick from the comments again even though Dina, Mandy and Grace learning it was played for laughs, and Dorothy kinda lucked out with evidence falling right in her face for her to connect the dots.
Mandy and Grace didn’t learn it at all!
I’m guessing the Mandy & Grace confusion comes from this strip, where they try guessing & get disturbingly close, before just dismissing it. If they only knew how right they were on BOTH things…
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/sterling/
Actually, there’s been a study on the effectiveness of uniforms to hide someone’s identity. Even if you know something, the first thing you notice is the uniform, and if they’re trying to keep their identity secret, they can keep you guessing.
Yeah, that’s the one I was talking about, Willis. I figured the way “Fine, you’re Other Rachel” was phrased, they were just being polite.
Nope! That was their genuine guess.
Just because Amber is Blaine’s daughter, doesn’t mean he’s going to recognize her in absolutely terrible visibility conditions. Especially since I think it’s implied that before Family Weekend, they hadn’t seen each other in years. Plus I feel like Blaine would actually be quicker to dismiss Amazi Girl = Amber. Amazi Girl put him in the hospital, and even though she punched him once, Blaine probably still considers Amber to be too weak to be able to do that.
Oh. New random pairing. Jacob x Dina! Together they can discuss how people keep failing at hiding obvious things while still thinking they’re doing it successfully-
A tiny asian girl vs a giant black man? Ahm. There are many websites out there that cater to that ship. No slipshine needed. Wanted but not needed.
Well there’s an image I didn’t want stuck in my head. When I ship people I don’t really think as much about Slipshine-type stuff as I think about, I don’t know, how cute they’d look holding hands, or deciding what movie to watch (J: “Fast and Furious!” D: “Jurassic World!” J: “Fast and Furious!” D: “Jurassic World!” etc. etc.) or how out of place Dina would look in a gym and how out of place Jacob would look in a store entirely dedicated to selling dinosaur-related goods (for the sake of my fun I’m gonna assume those exist). Favourite image of the day: Jacob wearing a slightly too small adult sized version of this http://image.dhgate.com/albu_337776194_00/1.0×0.jpg
Yes I get easily carried away with my fantasies.
That’s the thing about superhero privilege. Those who haven’t can’t even recognize that it’s a thing.
Good to see Jacob again, he’s one of my favorite characters. And hoping maybe him and Sarah talk and put things on a better note than last time.
I wonder if Jacob’s suddenly going to have “some errand to run” and leave to give them some privacy. Or maybe Ethan will suddenly decide to be bold and come out right then and there and there won’t really be a need for Jacob to leave? Wishful thinking of mine.
I feel like they may be talking about Amazigirl, not about Ethan’s sexuality.
Really? Amber rushed over to Ethan upon hearing of the breakup. It seems to me that’s what she wants to discuss. Or did I miss something vital?
Ethan doesn’t know that.
And Jacob doesn’t know Ethan’s gay yet, so Amber’s not going to just blurt that out in front of him.
“Ethan, I need to talk to you privately.” That’s a thing that happens, Amber, even to people who aren’t vigilantes talking to closeted gay guys. You don’t actually need to pretend you aren’t doing it.
Which makes it a bit weird to me that Jacob calls it out.
“We’ve got an issue of privileged information, don’t we?”
“Um, yes? So what?”
Maybe he was/is going to add something along the lines of “I can leave if you need me to.”?
I keep wondering if Jacob’s crush on Amber from the other ‘verse is going to come into play at some point(?) He may be unmasterfully trying to prolong their interactions.
Not sure that’s likely, he’s pretty different from his other self. He seems not to have his Walkyverse addiction issues in DoA – or maybe they haven’t surfaced yet, he is pretty young right now.
He’s probably just amused by how dramatically she instigated it.
I know I would be.
Jacob’s too chill for these swizzle sticks.
I just realized we know next to nothing of Jacob’s and Ethan’s interaction as room mates – aside from the occasional punch line that Ethan has the hotz for him.
Like, what was their conversation like before Amber showed up? I’m curious.
Ethan: So…
Jacob: Sorry you say something?
Ethan: No…
Something along those lines I’d imagine.
Ethan: *mumble* so are you gonna change or what
Jacob: Did you say something?
Ethan: Hotguywho’sgonnaundress says what?
[Oh thingie got cut off. The end of that read:]
Jacob: What?
Ethan: Heh heh
So… Amber knows Joyce and Ethan broke up, but doesn’t know the circumstances. She might be thinking that Ethan precipitated it. In fact, she probably thinks Ethan was behind it, and that he’s going to come out of the closet now. I wonder what her reaction will be to the idea that Ethan wants to stay in for a while longer, and that it was Joyce’s idea, in an effort to encourage him to be honest with himself — the same way Amber wants him to be.
Less like the Hardy Boys, more like Abbot and Castelo.
I am SO like Ethan. XD I take things at face value far too often.
I’m 47…will I live long enough to see how this part of the strip ends based on David Willis’s slowwww timeline?😕
I feel your pain. Just turned 49. From now on I’m tracking my age in seconds – currently just over 1.546 trillion of them.
How do you think I feel? In less than two years I could theoretically retire and start to draw Social Security.
Old. I think you probably feel old. Heaven knows I do.
Hey, you two, get off of my lawn!
Oh, theres 3 of you, dang nab it i need new glasses
Or maybe its time for that cataract operation. I wondrr if i can get my hip replaced and a few stents put in at the same time. I think ive got a coupon for that.
My big birthday present this year was a new pair of glasses…although the night is not over yet.
Is today your birthday?!?!?!
From this I think Jacob and Sarah would be a good match.
Are you sure you don’t care? I mean Ethan, single, glorious man chest, smut dude…
SMUT dude, eh?
Jacob, you would care so hard if you knew what it was.
…wait a tic, Jacob, why are YOU the vigilante’s fan? I am disappoint.
I did some quick checking, and Jacob clearly has some kick-ass powers of observation, since this is only the second time he and Amber have met.